Short Play: Be Unpredictable, That’s All

 

Be Unpredictable, That’s All

SCENE 1

 

Lights up on a small kitchen. The room is quite clean and orderly. A young man is standing against the refrigerator waiting on something in the microwave. Another man is sitting on the counter with his hands firmly planted on the countertop.

 

Troye

Tonight some of the girls and I are going downtown to celebrate the end of the term. Are you going to join us?

 

Devin

And make a fool of myself? No, I will stay inside and get ready for the move.

 

Troye

You always do this.

 

Devin

I always do what?

 

Troye

Bail.

 

Devin

Not every time.

 

Troye

95% of the time is close enough to all the time. You need to let loose. Have fun for once.

 

Devin

I have plenty of fun. Remember last summer when we went on that cruise?

 

Troye

I had a blast, yeah. Best trip of the year. It wasn’t spontaneous though.

 

Devin

So if something isn’t created last second it isn’t worth doing?

 

Troye

Not at all! Plans are great for getting most things done but you shouldn’t have to have one for every possible life event.

 

Devin

I can’t help it.

 

The microwave beeps and Devin takes his heated chicken pot pie out and places it on the counter to let it cool.

 

Troye

You just are becoming predictable. I’m sure I have watched you eat a chicken pot pie far more times than we have gone on dates.

 

Devin

It’s cheap and easy to make. Sue me.

 

Troye

I love you, Devin. I just want you to surprise me every now and then, that’s all. I have some errands to get done before work so I am going to head out. Please consider joining us tonight. Love you bunches.

 

Devin

I’ll think about it on my run and see where I am at. I’ll see you when I get back. I love you too, Troye.

 

The couple embraces each other and give each other a small peck. Troye turns and walks off stage as Devin remains and eats his microwave dinner. Lights dim.

 

SCENE 2

 

Lights up on a wooded trail with an old manor visible backstage through the trees. 1 is leaning with his back against a tree with his face in his hands. He looks up upon the sound of an approaching person running.

 

Ron

Hey! Hey you!

 

2 is startled and trips on his own feet falling to the ground on the trail.

 

Devin

Dude! Not okay.

 

Ron

I didn’t mean to startle you. Need help up?

 

Devin

My legs and arms are just fine, so, no thanks.

 

Devin gets to his feet.

 

Do you scare people for fun or is this your way of making friends?

 

Ron

Umm, neither. I’ve never startled anyone as badly as that before.

 

Devin

Pointer for next time you are out: Don’t jump in front of a runner while screaming “Hey You!”.

 

Ron

Noted.

 

Devin

So now that I fell and ruined my split time… is there something you want?

 

Ron

I need your help.

 

Devin

… help with what exactly?

 

 

Ron

Just… well… breaking into a house.

 

Devin

Yeah (chuckles). Uh-huh. Well, it was a pleasure to meet you but I think I’m just going to….

 

Devin turns to continue his run but then finds himself face to face with Ron who has jumped in his way.

 

Ron

Wait wait wait! Just hear me out. It really isn’t all that bad.

 

Devin

I don’t even know your name. What makes you think I’m just going to volunteer to break the law with you?

 

Ron

I’m not assuming you will help me but I don’t have many options right now. The name is Ron.

 

Ron reaches out his hand which 2 takes reluctantly.

 

Devin

Devin. Now tell me, why do you need to break into someone’s house? Can’t imagine there are many houses out here to break into.

 

Ron

You see that house through the trees there?

 

Ron points to the manor visible backstage.

 

Devin

Yeah. I see it every day when I run through this trail. Never seen anyone come and go though. If it wasn’t for the landscaping I would have assumed it was deserted.

 

Ron

That’s what most people think.

 

Devin

Those fences don’t look very friendly to climb… I’d be happy to watch you make a fool of yourself trying to get over them though.

 

Pause.

 

Ron

 

Ya know, if you aren’t going to take this seriously then you can keep running. I really have no time. Pleasure meeting you, Devin, now excuse me.

 

Ron turns and begins to walk away from Devin. Devin takes a deep sigh and then reaches out for Ron’s shoulder.

 

Devin

Sorry! Keep going. I promise I will listen. I just started my run with a lot on my mind so it’s hard for me to focus.

 

Ron reluctantly continues.

 

Ron

The manor is owned by a wealthy old geezer. It so happens he owns one of the nicest houses around and as a budding photographer, I like to take pictures of his property.

 

Devin

Isn’t that trespassing though?

 

Ron

I suppose but someone needs to appreciate the beauty of his property though. God knows he never steps foot outside.

 

Devin

So you get into the property by what… magic?

 

Ron

There is a tree that overhangs a section of the fence but there is a problem with that route now.

 

Devin

What? Did the tree fall over or something and now you need a boost over the fence?

 Ron

No and Yes. When I got here earlier I tied my bike up to the tree and climbed up to get over the fence. While I was in one of the gardens taking pictures, someone came by and cut my bike lock, stole my bike and also cut down the branches overhanging the fence.

 

Devin

And how did you get back over the fence?

 

Ron

A storage shed sits near the fence on the other side of the house so I just climb on that to get out.

 

Ron crosses his arms and turns to the manor.

 

I know that it was the old man who stole my bike. If my photography business was doing better I wouldn’t mind losing my bike but sadly, that isn’t the case. I don’t have a car so my bike is everything to me. It wasn’t exactly cheap either.

 

Devin

Uh-Huh. So you need me to help you avenge your stolen bike? If you think I am jumping into that yard then you are crazier than I thought.

 

Ron

All I need is a simple boost and a distraction.

 

Devin

Distraction?

 

Ron

Yeah. I just need you to go to the intercom and make a scene. Pretend like you are running away from a bad guy or that you got stung by a bee and need an epi pen. You think quick enough on your feet, you will be fine.

 

Devin

And I get…

 

Ron

A free photo shoot with prints! I’m sure you are in need of a new profile picture on Facebook. Oh, and 20 bucks.

 

Ron pulls out a $20 and shows Devin.

 

Seems fair enough to me.

 

 

Devin

Alright then, deal. The only thing is, if you get stuck in the fence then you are on your own bud.

 

Ron

Fair enough. Now let’s get going. Just follow me and I will fill you in once we get closer to the manor. Here, you can take this now if you want.

 

Ron gives the money to Devin.

 

Let’s get going.

 

Ron & Devin jog off stage to go towards the large manor. Lights FADE.

 

SCENE 3

 

Lights UP on a tall fence with large hedges obscuring most of the view of the manor behind. To the right sits the main gate and an intercom. Ron and Devin walk onstage with 2 looking nervous.

 

Devin

This manor looks so much bigger up close. Menacing really.

 

Ron

You would say that when you aren’t the one about to be going in it.

 

Devin

Yeah. Good luck with that.

 

Ron

Umm, Thanks?

 

Awkward pause.

 

Alright, so you just will lift me over this portion of the fence here and once I disappear you will go to the intercom and try and make a scene. I honestly don’t care what you do as long as you keep talking till I come back.

 

Devin

I am sure I can do that. What should I do if someone comes out to the gate or if someone drives up to the gate from the outside?

 

Ron

You are a runner. I doubt you will have any problem high tailing it out of here. I probably don’t have to tell you this but try and not go inside the gate if you can.

 

Devin

Come on man. I already told you this place looked creepy. The last thing I want is to get trapped here over night. Plus, running in and saving you wasn’t part of the plan.

 

Ron

Trust me, you won’t have to. Now help me up will you?

 

Devin gives Ron a boost up giving Ron the ability to reach the top of one of the stone pillars along the fence. Ron quickly hops over and disappears behind the hedges. Devin jogs in place for a short time to become out of breath and then taps the intercom button. A buzz can be heard as he presses the button.

 

Voice

Hello visitor. Please state your business here.

 

Devin

Hello! Sir! I need help!

 

Voice

Please. Speak slower. Enunciate. I cannot comprehend what your are telling me.

 

Devin

I need assistance!

 

Voice

This is not some kind of sanctuary. Please look elsewhere for assistance.

 

Devin

I may die! Please sir have a heart.

 

 

Voice

I have plenty heart good sir. You sound to be calm for a dying man. Don’t you go tell lies boy. It isn’t very proper.

 

Devin

I have been stung!

 

Voice

You have an exposed lung? Heavens boy. If that were the case I highly doubt you could speak to me.

 

Devin

Stung! I’ve been stung by a bee.

 

Voice

Then why on Earth would you lie to me and tell me your lung was exposed?

 

Devin

I never said that.

 

Voice

You must be daft to believe I am becoming more sympathetic to your case. I will not put up with liars.

 

Devin

But sir! I am incredibly allergic. I need an epi pen or else I will pass into anaphylactic shock. I seem to have lost mine.

 

Voice

Tossed your epi pen? You are a foolish boy. My best advice is to proceed to the next manor. All the best to you. Deep breaths now. Deep breaths.

 

At that moment loud sirens can be heard emanating from the property as if a jewelry store has been broken into. Devin starts a bit and nearly falls over.

 

You stay where you are, boy! Someone is attempting to break into my home. You better have nothing to do with this.

 

The intercom clicks off while the siren continues to blare. Suddenly the gate begins to open and Ron can be seen approaching the fence on his bike.

 

Ron

Why are you just standing there? The cops will be here any minute.

 

Devin

I never was going to ditch you here.

 

At that moment Ron’s camera falls off

 

Ron

Wait! I need my camera!

 

Ron stops and turns back for his camera. A tall man appears and grabs Ron and takes him inside the house. Devin hesitates and then decides to run into the yard. The gate closes behind him. Sirens are silenced. Lights down.

 

SCENE 4

 

Lights up to Devin in a garden crouched behind a large row of roses. The manor can be seen stage right towering over a symmetrical hedge. Devin pulls out his smartphone and dials a number.

 

Devin

Hello? Troye?

 

Troye

Hey babe, what’s up? Your run go okay?

 

Devin

No. Not exactly. I am still out of the house. I’m kind of in a bind.

 

Troye

Do you need me to help you?

 

Devin

Call the cops for me.

 

Troye

The cops!

 

Devin

I am fine, for now. A friend of mine has been abducted.

 

Troye

I take back what I said about wanting surprises. This is a joke, right? Come on. You can say just kidding now.

 

Devin

I just wanted to call and tell you that I…

 

A woman in her late 20’s appears in the garden out of nowhere. Devin drops his phone and so does the call.

 

Letty

What the hell are you doing?!

 

Devin

Uhhh. Smelling the roses. Boy is that just the greatest scent you…

 

Letty

Can it. No one just waltzes in here and smells the roses.

 

Devin

The gate was open?

 

Letty

Well you walked into the wrong open gate bud.

 

Devin

I could tell coming in here.

 

Devin picks up his phone and pockets it.

 

Care to tell me your business on this estate? Not quite sure you belong here either.

 

Letty

Obviously this place doesn’t belong to me. I’m a reporter.

 

Devin

I’m pretty sure I just saw your photographer get taken.

 

Letty

What?!

 

Devin

Is your partner’s name Ron?

 

Letty

Yes that is him.  God Dammit. How did it happen?

 

 

 

Devin

He dropped his camera and went back to get it but then was caught by some tall guy who came out of the house.

 

Letty

I told Ron to be careful. Interns just never listen.

 

Devin

I feel like you should be more concerned…

 

Letty

I am concerned, don’t you worry. This just makes for an even more exciting story.

 

Devin

Is the owner of this mansion some kind of murder or something? If he is I am not sure I want to stick around you. I’m not about to be thrown under the bus just so you can get more readers.

 

The sound of an approaching person can be heard off stage. Letty lunges and pulls Devin into one of the hedges to hide them both. The large man who took Ron can be seen scavenging the gardens. His face is hidden behind large sunglasses and a ball cap on backwards. Letty and Devin hold their breath. The man walks across the stage and then disappears.

 

Letty

The only way you will get out of here is because of me so you really have not much of a choice. As far as the owner of this place, his history is complicated.

 

Devin

Yes… and?.

 

Letty

He personally never murdered anyone but his mistakes have caused a lot of people to be killed.

 

Devin

Sounds like he worked for the CIA or FBI.

 

Letty

For sakes of time we shall go with that. He didn’t make friends easily so he purchased this property to become a recluse. He rarely leaves his house.

 

Devin

If he was the one I talked to over the intercom I would believe it.

 

Letty

You talked to him?! Goodness. You just are getting caught up in everything.

 

Devin

Your lackey, Ron, told me to do it.

 

Letty

And you blindly followed?

 

Devin

I’m not usually this spontaneous.

 

Letty

Today may have been a bad day to change that. At least you can help me get Ron back and I can run my big story.

 

Devin’s phone suddenly loudly rings. Devin looks to see who is calling.

 

Devin

It’s my boyfriend, Troye.

 

Letty

Shut that thing off!

 

Letty says this in a hushed tone.

 

If that tall guy heard your phone then we are…

 

Suddenly the tall man appears out from seemingly nowhere.

 

Tall Man

Please. Continue what you were going to say. Maybe what you think I will do will be more entertaining than what I originally planned.

 

Letty

Let us go without any questions?

 

Devin

Give us our friend Ron back?

 

Tall Man

Those do sound like convincing options but, sadly, my plans are better.

 

 

Tall Man pulls out a telescoping baton.

 

 

I would suggest you cooperate or else things won’t be as pleasant. Now please, proceed to the house if you would.

             

Devin and Letty move toward the house and Tall Man follows. Lights DOWN.

 

 

SCENE 5

 

Lights UP. Devin, Letty, and Ron are all in a room that looks like a library. Books cover all the walls and plush chairs fill the room. Devin sits on the piano bench near the piano in the back of the room. Ron has his camera but it looks like it has been broken though it still hangs around his neck.

 

Ron

Oh hey, Letty…

 

Pause.

 

You came back for me. Yay…

 

Letty

Go on. Be happy with yourself. I really wanted to get a VIP tour of the place. I love that you decided to turn our little investigative reporting into a real interview. It’s just… wonderful.

 

Ron

It’s not my-

 

Letty

It is most definitely your fault. You even went and got this kid involved! I suppose now that we are stuck here I should introduce myself. The name is Letty.

 

Devin

Devin. Nice to meet you even considering the, umm, circumstances.

 

Ron

You disappeared and I panicked. They took my bike, Letty! My bike is the only way I can get around. Maybe if you paid me for my work I could have overlooked it going missing.

 

 

 

Letty

I would consider paying you but look at what happened to that piece of plastic hanging around your neck.

 

Ron

You mean my camera?

 

Letty

That was my camera, Ron. Now it isn’t anything more than plastic. You probably lost all the pictures you took, huh?

 

Ron

No. I got the memory card and hid it before they could break it. Thank you very much.

 

Letty

Well thank the stars for that.

 

Devin

As much fun as pointing fingers has been, can we please figure out what to do next? I for one would like to make it home before midnight.

 

Letty

I’m pretty sure that ain’t going to happen honey.

 

Devin

With an attitude like that we might as well prepare ourselves to stay here for the rest of our lives.

 

Ron

Yeah, Letty. Be a little bit more optimistic.

 

Letty

We got caught investigating a story. Until they are sure we don’t have any information they aren’t just going to let us walk.

 

Devin

Will you ever tell me what exactly the story is on?

 

Ron

Yeah. I would like to know that too.

 

Letty

It’s complicated.

 

Devin

Considering that I am trapped in this creepy mansion I feel as if I have a right to know what you do.

Letty

Fine. Well this property used to belong to a very rich family named the Laterites. The Laterites were known for collecting artifacts from around the world that were one of a kind and highly expensive.

 

Ron

I’ve heard the stories. They say there is some kind of treasure vault here on the property.

 

Devin

And how does the old geezer who owns the place play into this all?

 

Letty

His name is Calito-

 

Devin

Bless you.

 

Letty

No. Seriously. The man’s name is Calito.

 

Devin

No wonder he never really made friends. I wouldn’t trust someone with a name like that.

 

Ron

He almost sounds like a character in a graphic novel.

 

Letty

Like I was saying… Calito is a treasure hunter who lied and cheated to dupe the Laterites out of giving up their property.

 

Ron

That sounds like a bunch of BS that they just gave up the place.

 

Letty

Calito forged some legal documents and deceived a few influential people. Calito may be a terrible man but you have to give the man credit.

Devin turns on the piano bench and starts to play a short little medley of songs he was taught in piano lessons. All of the sudden a portion of the bookshelf slides to reveal a hallway.

 

Ron

What the?

 

Letty

Impossible!

 

Devin

Don’t blame me!

 

Letty

No, this is fantastic. This must be the entrance to the Laterites vault.

 

Devin

Oh, right. Let’s walk down the creepy tunnel in a house owned by a crazy.

 

Ron

What’s the worst that is going to happen?

 

Devin

Umm, let’s not ask that question please. I feel like we just are making things worse by suggesting worse things could in fact be in our near future.

 

Letty

You asked how we could find our way out and here is our only option.

 

Devin

It looks like it just goes further down into the ground, not up and out.

 

Letty stands near the open archway and feels a breeze coming from below. Ron joins her near the arch.

 

Letty

Air is flowing.

 

Ron

 

Yeah and I think I can hear the sound of running water.

 

Devin

Fine then. But let’s hurry before that tall guy or Calito show up. I doubt they would want us finding treasure that is on their property.

 

The trio proceed to walk toward the arch then walk through to the darkness beyond. As soon as they disappear the mysterious Tall Man walks into the library. He pulls out a walkie talkie which he speaks into.

 

Tall Man

Sir, they have found the entrance to the vault.

 

Calito’s voice can be heard clearly from the walkie.

 

Calito

Excellent. Excellent. Now follow them and make sure they don’t leave. I want to see their faces so I can thank them personally for making me the richest man in the world.

 

Tall Man disappears into the passageway and the lights then dim on the scene.

 

SCENE 6

 

The scene returns to the kitchen from the first scene. Troye can be seen pacing nervously back and forth between the counters. All of the sudden the doorbell rings and Troye runs to go open the door. A police officer is standing in the doorway.

 

Officer

Troye Dunham?

 

Troye

Yes, that is me. Any news?

 

Officer

We have done a quick search of the area and we have yet to track down Devin Williams. We have a few witnesses who claim to have seen him running near the bike trails in the neighborhood but otherwise, there is not much more that we know.

 

Troye

And you are doing all you can?

 

Officer

Well Troye, it has yet to be a full 24 hours and so there is not much that we can legally do.

 

Troye

Devin never has been this late before, sir. Besides, when he called me earlier he sounded like he was in trouble.

 

Officer

So Devin never has just left the apartment without letting you know what he was up to?

 

Troye

Devin isn’t the kind of person to just get up and do something without having a plan. That is why I am nervous. He would have told me that he would be later.

 

Officer

Well this is valuable information. We are still waiting to hear back concerning his phone. We should be able to track it even if the phone accidentally turned off. If he dropped it because he was in danger then the phone should guide us right to him.

 

Troye

I really hope that it does.

 

Officer

If you hear anything, anything at all concerning Devin’s whereabouts please contact the station immediately. Until then, I promise we will do what we can.

 

Troye

Thank you officer.

 

Officer

Goodbye, Troye.

 

Troye shuts the door to the apartment and then proceeds to go to the counter and sit on the countertop with his face in his hands. Lights dim on the kitchen.

 

 

SCENE 7

 

Lights up (or at least as much as lights can go up in an underground vault) to the trio standing in a large rock cove. The room is bare except for in the center of the room where there appears to be a few precious stones sitting ontop of small flat topped boulder. The room is illuminated by old electric bulbs. The sound of a bubbling stream can be heard echoing along the walls.

 

Devin

Well isn’t this disappointing.

 

 

Ron

What a waste of a cool space.

 

Letty

If I could take a guess as to what happened here I would say someone already took the treasure a long time ago.

 

Ron

Maybe the Laterites knew that they were going to lose the place before that Calito guy took over.

 

Devin

If I was known for possessing some of the world’s greatest treasures I doubt that I would stay in one place for long either.

 

Ron

If only my camera worked I could document this.

 

Letty

Yeah, a pity you broke it.

 

Devin

Come off it you two.

 

Ron

It’s fine. I am used to being treated like an intern.

 

Devin

Hey, I have a camera on my phone.

 

Letty

You still have a phone!? Why haven’t you tried calling for help?

 

Devin reaches into his pockets only to find that his phone actually isn’t on him any longer.

Devin

Oh, I guess the Tall Man took it from me.

 

Tall Man

As a matter of fact, I did.

 

All three start as the tall man walks into the hollowed rock cave.

 

Letty

Jesus!

 

Ron

(high pitched screams)

 

Devin

Why do you always do that? Can you ever just show up and say hi like a normal person instead of trying to just slide yourself into conversations?

 

Tall Man

I wouldn’t be as mysterious that way.

 

Ron

Uh, yeah. You definitely are creepy.

 

Letty

Well as you can see there isn’t really anything here. You can let us go now.

 

Tall Man

I would be a poor host if I never allowed you to meet the owner of the house. Calito should be here any minute.

 

Ron

I am totally fine with accepting you as a terrible host.

 

Tall Man

Be patient. I think I can hear him coming now.

 

An older man in a nice suit arrives. This is Calito. He appears to be disappointed by the emptiness of the room but only temporarily.

 

Here are your guests, sir.

 

Calito

A pleasure to finally meet the rebel rousers who dared disturb my peaceful Saturday.

 

Letty

Saturdays are the funnest day of the week-

 

Calito

I believe you mean to say the most fun day of the week.

 

Ron

Alright so it is clear that Calito is the least fun person ever.

 

Calito

Excuse me boy. You better watch how you address your elders.

 

Devin

If I felt like you had any respect then I would feel more inclined to return respect back to you.

 

Calito

I see the boy with the bee sting survived his fatal encounter with a flower’s best friend. Or was that just a trick to get into my house?

 

Devin

Either way you proved yourself a terrible person. “Go to the next manor”? I mean honestly, do you even have a heart.

 

Calito

In fact, I do. My heart prefers objects over other people, however. Speaking of which, what have you done with the contents of this room?

 

Letty

This is how we found it.

 

Calito

I have been searching for this room for years. I can’t accept that there is nothing else that is in here.

 

Ron

Those must be worth something though.

 

Ron points to the natural rock table and its contents. Calito walks over and peruses the table. A yellowed and crumbled piece of parchment sits under one of the stones. Calito reads the letter aloud.

 

Calito

For the one’s smart enough to find this cove, congratulations. Your search for the Laterite’s treasure has not all been in vain. The treasure has been relocated somewhere more secure and out of the way. Safety of the artifacts has been largely in question and so it was with much difficulty that we have transferred it to a new location. Here lies a small taste of the treasure we give to you for your troubles. May the Laterite treasure stay forever hidden from the world.

 

Ron

Aren’t they nice for leaving a small prize.

 

Calito

This can’t be.

 

Devin

Save the dramatics mister. We are obviously not responsible for the loss of the treasure and have not taken anything so please let us leave.

 

Calito draws out a gun and so does Tall Man.

 

Calito

All of you can stay here and rot. You may have helped me find this room but I am not going to allow a reporter and her lackeys walk out of here and tell the world that I have failed to locate the treasure I have spent the last 10 years searching for.

 

Letty

You’re insane!

 

The lights suddenly go out and everyone panics.

 

Devin

Run to the river guys!

 

Letty & Ron

Okay!

 

Sounds of 3 splashes can be heard followed by flashes and bangs of gunfire. Lights dim.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cliché Love

 

SCENE 1

 

Lights UP on a car parked on the edge of a steep hill overlooking the valley. Two college aged boys lay on the hood and windshield looking up at the moon.

Carter

I can’t believe that we are done.

 

Danny

I know, right? I never thought it would end so soon.

 

Carter

The fact we ever grew out of our party phase long enough to pass our classes amazes me. Now it’s on to being real adults.

 

Danny

You being a real adult? It’s great to know you haven’t lost your sense of humor.

 

(chuckles from the pair)

 

Growing up I always assumed that each new step in life would make me feel more mature, ya know? Graduating high school, getting my degree… I always expected dramatic shifts. Right now I don’t feel anything.

Carter

Nothing at all?

 

Danny

Yeah. Well… mostly.

 

Carter

You must have some feeling about the future.

 

Danny

Maybe I just have too many feelings and I don’t know how to cope with it all. I feel confident and calm yet I can’t help but be scared and unsure of myself. How do you feel?

 

Carter

Danny, everyone graduating feels the same way. If anyone tells you otherwise they are lying. Trust me.

 

Carter reaches over and pulls Danny closer to his side and they snuggle in the brisk night air contently.

 

You have such a bright future ahead of you. You’re smart and capable enough to get through anything.

 

Danny

I’m so lucky to have a guy like you.

 

Carter

If anything, it’s me that is the lucky one.

 

Danny

We both are lucky.

 

Carter

Let’s hope you think the same when we move in together.

 

Danny

I know I will.

 

Carter

 

 

The two snuggle closer and the lights fade.